What They Thought They Knew
by luckyinlove13
Summary: They all knew her. Bellatrix Lestrange. Or at least they thought they did. Until one reporter goes where none have gone before to completely unmask the truth behind one of the world's most notorious killers and what makes a person who she really is.
1. Introduction

The complete account of Bellatrix Black Lestrange.

Convict, Murderer, and Death Eater

They say to meet Bellatrix Lestrange is the change of a lifetime, at least behind bars. They say that to meet one so incredibly insane, it's surreal. They say that if there is a hell, she would be queen of it, with you-know-who her king. Some say, that she is more evil than her master, a true lover of the curse of killing. An artist. One who enjoys her work. One who feels no compassion, no loyalty, no love and no regret for anything except to her master, The Dark Lord. Some say she is what nightmares are made of, and if she weren't so well known, some would say she was a ghost, a shadow of fear. Some still say she is. Some say she was born evil and turned worse. Some say she was always the way she is. And what some say, is that she once was a little girl, like any other. One that loved to dance, and play. One that had a spirit and a certain innocence that cannot be found anywhere else. And that may be the most frightening of all.

My name is Cicily Proulx, I attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry a couples years before Bellatrix Lestrange graduated. She was a year ahead of me. I then proceeded to study abroad, wanting to help cure the mentally insane by studying and profiling them, much like the muggles do. My dad was muggleborn, my mum was pureblood and I am an only child to the Proulx legacy, ending with my mum. I have her last name since her and my dad aren't speaking anymore and haven't been since right before I was born. I am sitting right now in Azkaban, waiting to be checked and given clearance to talk to Miss Lestrange herself. I'll be living here for the next few years or so, until my research is complete. So right now, without further ado, I give you the complete and true tale of Bellatrix Lestrange's life as a death eater, as told to me by herself.

AN: Basically this story will be almost in a biography/interview form. There will be flashbacks so it might be a little confusing. So if you aren't a fan of flashbacks, don't read. Also this is my first fanfic so wish me luck!


	2. Nothing more than a Child

AN: This won't all be in Cicily's POV and will be for at the moment rated T.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, all of which belongs to the fabulous Ms. Rowling.

September, 1983

I sit across from her, and except for the completely solid, invisible wall between us, it is like sitting with an old friend for tea. I must say, my first reaction upon seeing her is that she doesn't have the look of having lived in Azkaban long. I have seen many criminals in my line of work, and even after a few days in this place, they look worn out, tired, as if they have run a hundred kilometer race without any breaks. She doesn't.

Bellatrix Lestrange has been here for almost two years now and looks as if Azkaban hasn't any affect on her. I met her many times, my first time being when I was a first year and she a second year. She still looks the same as she did all those years ago when she graduated. She sits on the chair as if it were a throne made of gold and looks as if she is ultimately bored. She still has that same, exotic beauty that had boys falling over here while at school, and I remember a time when we were almost friends.

I'll admit it is weird to see her after all these years when we have long gone our separate paths. Perhaps this is why I chose this assignment, to see what I may have become had I not. A certain part of me, I will admit, has always been curious to know what it might have been like had we not had a falling out so many long years ago. We were never extremely close, her and I. We were a year apart after all, and in separate houses. I was in Ravenclaw, put in when the hat couldn't decide whether or not Ravenclaw or Slytherin was the place for me. At the time, I was disappointed, after having sat with friends that made it into Slytherin on the train, but looking back now, never have I been more thankful.

If she is surprised to see me, she doesn't show it, only a small smirk graces her lips as she studies me. Then she smiles.

"Cicily," she drawls, "it has been far too long."

"Yes, it has been quite a while," I reply.

"Mhmmm, indeed it has. So you have chosen the path of light I see. Pity. I could always see what potential you had, even if no one else could," she says this as if she is giving me the highest of praise, which from her, I suppose it is.

"Maybe. But I have no chosen side. Only the side of knowledge."

"Indeed," she says again. "That is very interesting. You know, when I heard your name I could hardly believe it. That they were letting an old friend come to see me. I hardly have any privileges in this place. They keep it on such a tight lock-down. And then I heard it was for research, for a job and I couldn't help but think, 'that is so Cicily, always the little Ravenclaw'. Of course I am a little insulted that you didn't come and visit of your own free will. We were the greatest of friends back in school, were we not," she doesn't say this like a question.

"I thought us to be more acquaintances than friends," I reply, "but then again it has been so long. Maybe my memory is failing me."

"Maybe," she doesn't look as nearly content as she did a minute ago, rather she looks a little murderous. "So why are you really here? And don't give me that 'it is research for my job' bullshit. Because I know you Cicily and you were never one to do things because if you didn't want to."

I am quiet for a minute because in all honesty I am not completely sure what the real reason for me taking this job offer was. After contemplating it for a minute and deciding on an answer that was relatively safe, I said, "I'm not entirely sure. There were many reasons. I hadn't seen you in such a while and to be honest, I wanted to see what I might have turned out like if we had stayed in touch. I highly doubt I would be the same Cicily I am today."

"Interesting," she drawls. "So what information are you collecting on your stay here? Is it going to be informational, or juicy? Do you want to hear about my love life? Details of being The Dark Lord's most trusted follower?"

"All of it," I say, and she, for the first time in her life, looks surprised. Then she let out a small, bone-chilling laugh.

"My, my, Cicily. Are you sure you can handle hearing this? It might be a tad too dark for yours or anyone's tastes."

"I am sure," I say, my confidence slowly starting to build. She was intrigued. "Can you handle telling me? Might bring back memories too horrific for you to think about."

This time she lets out a loud laugh that sounds like nails scraping on a chalk board. "Cicily dear, I have missed our conversations. You were the only one who could battle me with wit back in our school days. So why do you want to hear this story?" She has taken the bait and has risen up to the challenge. I am practically a hundred percent sure that she knows this and is only humoring me but at least I can get answers out of her for the moment. Once she has had her fun, she'll stop and I will have to think of a new tactic, but for now, this is good.

"Because," I say, rearranging myself comfortably in my seat, "you intrigue me, Bellatrix Lestrange."

She raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow at this and then slowly smiles, remembering our first conversation together. "As do you Cicily Proulx. As do you." And she leans back in her seat, smiling at me in a way that sends shivers down my spine.

"So are you willing to take some truth potions?"

"Why? You don't think I will be telling the truth?" she asks, smirking because we both know that she won't.

"It would mean a lot if you were just to do it," I say, hoping to guilt her into doing it.

"No," she says, her smirk growing wider now. She is enjoying this far more than I wish her to be.

"Please Bee?" I ask, using my old nickname for her.

She laughs humorlessly. "No, Cici." She is mocking me now, using her old nickname for me.

"Any why not?" I ask angrily.

"Because," she drawls, laughing silently at my reaction.

"Because what?" I snap.

"Because I don't see the fairness in this deal. Everyone will be getting to know about me and no one will be getting to know about you."

"That is because this is about you, not me."

"Yes but I don't want to be doing all that talking. It is rather rude of me to do so."

"Fine. But I will only share after you share."

"That is quite alright. But if I am going to be taking this truth potion, I want you to be doing the same. Understood?"

I nod mutely, trying to regain control.

"Is this potion going to be veritaserum?" she asks and I remember our school days when she had said something that one only needed to know the ways around it.

"That, among others, if that is alright with you?"

"I don't really suppose I have a choice do I?" she leers at me, challenging me.

"You always have a choice," I say, not lying. "You do not have to answer and we could spend the next ten years dancing around the subject."

"Maybe I prefer your company than to you leaving me here to rot afterward," she says, raising an eyebrow.

"Somehow I doubt that very much so let's just say that my book, which every person in the wizarding world will read, will have various details saying how you have always despised your master, how your loyalty was forced, and how the only reason you stayed is because you are a coward."

Her amused expression immediately dropped and formed into one of pure hatred. "That is a lie. All of it. And I will not fall down to your level of trickery."

"But isn't that what Slytherins are known for?"

She gives me a calculating stare before letting out a laugh. "Oh Cicily, how have I missed you. You always manage to throw surprises when it is least expected. And that is quite a valiant effort I will give you that, so I suppose I can help you out a tad. But remember I want you to share to, I want you promise me. Make the unbreakable vow with me."

"No," I say, knowing she is trying to lead me into a trap. "That requires a wand and I don't want a wand anywhere near you without you being either dead or stunned. No offense."

"None taken. I wouldn't want to be around me either if I were you. I might decide to break out of here and you would only be a hindrance. No offense."

"None taken," I reply with sincerity.

"Always the Slytherin you were. Even if you were in Ravenclaw. I could always see it in you, even though no one else could. Imagine what it would have been like had you been put there."

"I do. Every day. And then, I am thankful I wasn't."

"Why?"

"Because I wouldn't be sitting here across from you. I would most likely be sitting next to you, and that bitch Candice Williams would be interviewing us and I really do not like her. She is always after my job."

"You always did think about yourself first and foremost, didn't you Cicily? Though your brains make it clear why you are in Ravenclaw."

"Yes, I suppose they do."

We sat in silence for a moment, taking in the almost surreal feeling of our conversation. Like we were just good friends catching up after many years at a local tea shop.

"So when do we start?" she asks finally.

"How about right now?"

After she was fully medicated with truth potions, we sat across from each other once more. "So Bee, where would you like to start?" Her old nickname still felt weird on my tongue.

"The beginning. If I am going to do this, I might as well do it right. Can't have your first book being complete shit.

"I was born in October 1951, to Cygnus and Druella Black. It was the worst time in my opinion to be born. Right after the train to Hogwarts, meaning I would have to wait another year. I grew up in the Black mansion. One of them. And I was the eldest of my sisters and my cousins.

"Growing up in the Black Mansion was very different from growing up anywhere else."

"I thought the whole Black family lived in Grimmauld Place?"

"Oh no, my cousins and my aunt and uncle lived there, but not us, we lived in a separate home, much grander than that place. And not full of filthy muggles either."

"Why did your family build a house there if the muggles lived there?"

"Ah, that is an interesting story in and of itself. But I will save that for later. Anyways," she shot me a glare, "As I was saying, growing up in the Black mansion was very different from growing up anywhere else.

"The grounds were extravagant, though not as over-done as the Malfoys'. The fountains were forever running with water that glittered silver and gold and the statues would run and play. Lights of purples and blues and pinks would float along the pathways and the leaves on the trees never fell, only changed color with the seasons. In spring, they were a glittery pink. In summer they were a nice healthy green. In the autumn, they were magnificent reds, yellows, and oranges and the trees would look as if they were bursting into flame. And in winter, they would turn a frosty white and light blue, to go along with the snow. It was a truly magical place.

"The house itself was made of fine white marble that went four stories high. The inside was always decorated lavishly with the finest furniture imported from everywhere in the world. The paintings were masterpieces and always moved about and conversed with another. There was not a single ugly thing in that place. Mother simply wouldn't allow it and for good reason. The library was always my favorite place. It was filled with every acceptable book imaginable. And it was enchanting. The second you stepped in there, the library would offer you choices of what it felt you would enjoy that day. The books were always rearranging themselves. And some of them would project their story. Characters would come to life.

"We had dozens upon dozens of house elves but not once were they seen unless called upon, and with good reason. That was one of the rules. House elves of course were dispensable. Any time one of them behaved, they were sent to my cousins' house where they had the joy of taking the heads of the house elves and hanging them upon the wall. We agreed but they really did make awful decorations, so we never had even one hanging from our wall.

"The fire places would roar constantly, and sometimes, the flames changed colors, dancing merrily around. The doors would open for you as you walked and the furniture was constantly rearranging itself in a more suitable position. The colors of the walls changed with the moods but somehow always seemed to match the décor. Our ballroom was perhaps the most extravagant, not including the gardens, and was always of favorite of the guests that visited during balls my mother threw, or work parties for my father, or any other occasion my parents saw that required guests, which was quite frequently. My parents adored having company, or rather they enjoyed showing off their home which never failed to impress. The ballroom itself had magnificent chandeliers that sparkled when you danced by, creating an illusion that this was all just a wonderful dream. And that it was."

***Bellatrix Flashback***

"Why Bellatrix, dear, you are looking absolutely wonderful," Aunt Walburga came over to where I was standing. My parents were having a party and I was standing in the ballroom trying to get someone to talk to me. The ballroom sparkled and shimmered as people danced around in fancy dress robes wearing funny masks on their faces.

"Thank you," I said politely while itching at my dress robes. "Auntie, my robes really itch, can you make it not itch anymore?"

"I'll see what I can do, just don't tell your mother," she drew her wand. "I think you are going to have another sibling with the way your mother is carrying on."

"What do you mean? I already have one," I said frowning. What would I need with two?

"Oh I am sure you'll see eventually," She patted me on the head.

"Are you going to give me a sibling too? Because I already have one. I don't need anymore."

"No, dear that isn't how it works I'm afraid."

"Good. Because I don't want another."

"Bella, now I didn't mean to upset you. And having another one wouldn't be so bad would it?"

"Yes," I stamped my foot, "All Andi does is cry and Mummy and Daddy always are taking care of her. They never play with me anymore."

"Well, Bella, I am guessing that is because she needs the taking care of. But because you are older, you don't. I bet your parents appreciate a lot. You know being the oldest isn't a bad thing, it means you can always help out. And I bet you Andromeda will look up to you when she gets older and so will your new sibling. And you want to know something?" I nodded. "I bet you will have another sister and then you will have two people who look up to you. It will be like they are your followers and they will always look out for you to help them."

"Do you follow anyone, Auntie?"

"We all follow someone in some way, Bella. Perhaps when you are older you will understand."

"It doesn't sound all that wonderful," I say looking at Bellatrix's far off look.

"Oh, but it was."

"I assumed you had plenty of rules though?"

She snorts coming back to reality. "Plenty? There were hundreds of them. Each so small you would forget them if you weren't always so alert. But it wasn't so bad; I had all those rules memorized by the time I was five. Life there may have been a little more difficult than just lounging in your pajamas late every Saturday and Sunday, but it wasn't horrible at all. You remember that ball we had my seventh year at Hogwarts? That Christmas one? Our robes were fancier than any of those and we wore those daily. My mother always wanted us to look our best and that we did. Perfection was a part of who we were, who we were. It felt wonderful whenever I saw someone with clothes not as nice as mine. I knew that they meant I was special."

"Did your parents think you were special?"

"My parents? That's is an interesting question. I suppose at first. But I began to scare them. My mother especially. My father like to ignore what was there. But I could see it in their eyes. I guess looking back now, they were always a little fearful of me. I just was too young to see it."

*** Flashback ***

"Mummy, Mummy," I cried, looking everywhere for my mother.

"Bellatrix, darling, what have I told you about calling me Mummy."

I stood there for a second trying to think about it. "I can't remember," I said lowering my head.

She sighed and pressed her lips together in a thin line before answering. "That it isn't proper. And Bella, I don't want to hear you calling me Mummy or Mum again, understand. Especially in front of company. They wouldn't think it was proper etiquette and it isn't. Next time you forget, there will be consequences."

"Yes, Mother," I didn't look up.

"Druella, the guests have arrived," my father entered the room and at this I looked up.

"Daddy, who has arrived?" I asked curiously.

"Bellatrix," my mother said warningly, but father waved his hand and she fell silent.

"Druella, she's a little girl, she can call me whatever she wants."

"Yes Cygnus, give the girl whatever she wants. You know when she grows up to be a spoiled little brat or worse, the blame will be all yours."

"Druella," my father said, matching her tone. "She's only five. She will be fine."

"Oh yes, soon you will say that if she grows up to be a muggle-loving rights activist it will be all fine and dandy too, won't you?"

"I can do whatever I damn well please, Druella. And you are over-reacting. Of course Bella would never grow up to be like that. We have raised her right so far, I am sure she will turn out just fine. Now go great our guests, I am getting sick of you trying to make our daughter grow up too fast."

"You are a selfish bastard, Cygnus and one day you will see just how wrong you have raised our daughter. Mark my words. She is different and I know you see it. I just hope to Merlin the other two won't be anything like she will be."

"My parents fought all the time, though that was the first memory I really have of it."

I look at her for a minute before speaking. "Why do you think they were afraid of you?"

"They were afraid of what I could do. I have immense power and I am sure they saw it even when I was at a younger age than I am now."

"I'm sure that is it," I say, somewhat sarcastically.

"You don't understand, Cicily. You weren't raised how I was raised. My life was very different from yours and I don't regret it for a moment."

***Flash Back***

"Bellatrix, your lessons are starting. Get down here this instant," my mother called.

"Yes, Mother," I said, getting to my feet. Eight years old and having lessons for eight hours a day. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair. I couldn't wait until I went to Hogwarts.

"Bellatrix, hurry up!"

"I'm coming, Mother," I yelled back, knowing that would earn me probably another fifteen minutes. Mother didn't like yelling at all. I didn't run but I didn't exactly walk either. Running was forbidden in the Black house.

"It took you long enough," my mother scowled at me as I finally entered the private study where all of mine and my sisters' lessons took place.

"Sorry," I said mumbling, "I lost track of time in the library."

"Bellatrix, you know perfectly well that isn't an excuse. A Black lady must never be late."

"Well maybe I don't want to be a Black lady," I shot back before looking at the ground.

A loud slap echoed the otherwise empty room. I felt tears sting my eyes but I didn't say anything. I did deserve that after all.

"If you cry, you'll face much more than that. Do you understand me, young lady?"

"Yes, Mum," I winced at my mistake. "I mean Mother. I am sorry. It just slipped out."

"That is another lesson for today. You mustn't ever let your true feelings revealed. A Black lady never shows any feeling. A Black lady is always polite. A Black lady..."

"A Black lady is always confident and must never show any weakness because weakness shows weakness in the entire family, not just herself," I repeated, hating myself for it.

"Very good. Sit down Bellatrix, today, we are learning about the proper treatment of muggles."

"But Mother, we went over this the last time! And the time before that!"

"Bellatrix Black! What have I told you about whining?"

"One must never whine to express oneself. It is pathetic and makes one sound uneducated, neither of which a Black lady is."

"Well at least you have the speeches down," my mother sniffed as if it weren't good enough, and I assumed I would be getting a 'but' here soon. "But you would do well to remember that and not go over the speeches. Anyway this will be our last lesson. Your father and I have found a private tutor for you that way your sisters' tutoring will be easier for me to manage."

"What?" I asked in disbelief. "But don't you like teaching me? You love being with Cissy and Dromeda. And they can always be taught with me. I wouldn't mind. I'll behave, I promise."

"Bellatrix!" My mother said, and I find I hate my name as I fell silent. It is overused too much, especially by my mother. It is like she has to make sure who she is talking to. "As I was saying private lessons will begin next Tuesday. You will have until then without any lessons. I want you practicing very hard until then. I have a gift for you." She pulled something from the desk. "Close your eyes."

I did, trying to think of all the horrible things my mother might have. She never gives me gifts, unless they are some sort of punishment.

"Open your eyes, my darling," she said, almost lovingly, and I feel hope. Mother didn't really mean what she said. She did love me.

I looked and see a sleek black box with a silver and green ribbon holding it together. "Mother," I began, breathlessly.

"Open it, go ahead," she said, "But this is an agreement between the both of us that you won't play with your imaginary friends anymore."

I was about to protest that they weren't imaginary but curiosity got the better of me and I carefully took the box. "What is it?"

"You have to open it to find out won't you?" My mother said smiling. It was times like these that I forgive my mother for everything.

I slowly pulled off the satin ribbon and placed it neatly on the table, making sure to be careful. This may after all be a test. I looked at her once more and she nodded in reassurance. I pull the lid open. "Mother," I gasped. Inside was a beautiful wand. "This is for me?" I asked. It was placed neatly among the white fabric that held it in place.

"Yes, but remember Bellatrix, you may only use it in the Black house borders. It is illegal after all for you to use magic."

"How?" I asked. I knew this after all. I knew almost everything there was to know about the wizarding society.

"Your father pulled some strings. We will get you another wand when you get ready to go to Hogwarts. It will be a better match but this should do just fine. I got an old family friend to make this just for you, so it should work wonders."

"Thank you Mother!" Without thinking I threw my arms around her. As I was pulling back, I was surprised to feel her return the hug, however brief.

"You are very welcome. Lessons are over today. I expect you to be practicing hard now. You only have a week before your tutoring starts up."

"I won't let you down!" I gave her another quick hug before dashing off, ignoring her calls of no running.

I hid in the gardens, knowing Mother would never find me there. She after all, would give me a good lashing after running in the halls. Twirling my new wand in my hands, I inspected in carefully. It was beautiful, and sleek. Possibly the fanciest thing I owned.

"What do you have there?" Asked a voice besides me.

"Hello, Alrick," I said, pleasantly. "It's a new wand my mum got for me."

"That's not even fair," another voice sounded. "I'll never get a wand."

"Maybe if you go to Hogwarts, Elsie," I said, looking my friends.

"You know we never will," John stepped out of the bushes now and sat beside them.

"Well that isn't my problem is it?" I said. They complained way too often. "And anyways I can't be seen with you. Mother forbids it. She said she didn't want me to play with you anymore. That's why she gave me the wand."

"And you agreed to it!" Catrina said, offended.

"Well what else could I do? I couldn't bloody well say no. Especially after she gave me a wand."

"You shouldn't say that," Anya said frowning. "It is a bad word. My mum would punish me for it."

"My mother is just more understanding than yours," I sniffed.

"I wished I lived like you," Elsie said, and the rest of them nodded.

"I know," I said flipping my hair. "Who wouldn't?"

Alrick looked at me, "Can I try it out?"

"No!" I clutched my wand to my chest and glared at them all. "And you all need to leave now. Mother says I can't see you anymore. She said imaginary friends aren't for Black ladies. And I am going to be a Black lady, can you imagine?" I giggled, then turned serious again. "But I am not kidding around. You need to leave."

"We aren't imaginary," Anya said. "Besides you will need us. You always do."

"A Black lady needs no one, I can assure you that and when I close my eyes and count to three I want you all to be gone and never come back, understand? And you are too imaginary. I made you up. Anyways," I shut my eyes, "One. Two. Three." I slowly counted and then paused for a second before opening my eyes to see myself alone again.

"Well that worked wonders didn't it?" A voice sounded behind me.

"Who in the bloody hell are you?" I demanded frowning. I didn't know this girl.

"I'm you of course, silly. And I was beginning to wonder when you would get rid of those nitwits. They were so dreary and always holding you back." Now that she said that I could see the resemblance. We looked identical.

"Who are you?" I demanded again.

"I am you, so I suppose I am Bellatrix."

"Well I am already Bellatrix so you will have to choose a new name."

"How about Bella?"

"No. Only my sisters can call me that."

"Well then how about Trixie?"

"I suppose that will work." I eyed her carefully. "Mother said I can't play with you anymore though so when I open my eyes again I want you gone." I shut my eyes and then opened them again a few seconds later. She was still there.

"Bella, silly, I have always been here. And you can't get rid of me that easily. I am here to help you. You see our parents are trying to rid of us."

"No, they aren't. They love me."

"No they don't Bella, they are scared of us. Can't you see? Whenever they look at us, it is like they are waiting. We need to prove ourself to them. Please Bella? They think we will end up like muggle lovers. We need to prove it to them that we can take it."

"You are lying!" I shouted covering my ears. "Why won't you go away?" I closed my eyes and sang to myself. When I opened them she was kneeling in front of me.

"Bella, please? I can help."

I looked to my house and tried to ignore the facts that were staring at me so blatantly. Everything she said was true and I knew it. "How?"


	3. The Price of Love

***Flashback***

"How?" I asked, looking at Trixie.

"Simple," she said. "We need to prove to them that we can take it. That we will be the best we can be."

"Right," I said, finally understanding. "I remember Mother talking about how muggles and mudbloods needed to be put in their place. Non-exsisting."

"Yes, yes, I like what you are thinking, Bella," she smiled at me.

"So we show her we can do whatever is needed to purify the purebloods' existence?"

"Exactly," she smiled at me. "See Bella? I knew you could do it."

"But how? It's not like we have any muggles anywhere near here."

"Bella, Bella, Bella, think! Remember you have a wand now. The whole world could be yours," Trixie smiled at me.

"Not exactly. Only that within the Black grounds. Which might be a lot but Mother and Father aren't too permitting over having muggles and mudbloods come and go as they please," I sighed. No way could it work.

"I promise, patience is key, now go to the library and study up! We have a lot to learn before this new tutor of ours," She winked at me and I slowly nodded getting up from the ground.

"Trixie, will you promise to help me? Mother and Father already like Dromeda and Cissy better than me. I can't mess this up."

"Bella, of course I will help. After all I am you," she blew me a kiss and as I blinked, she disappeared.

***End***

"Trixie, huh?" I say looking at Bellatrix. "So you really are crazy aren't you? Seeing people and all that shit?"

"I'm not crazy, Cicily. I was eight," she looks at me angrily.

"Still, a little old to actually be seeing people."

"Didn't you have any imaginary friends when you were younger?" she shoots back.

"Imaginary, yes. Seeing people who weren't actually there, no," I'm mocking her but it is almost like we are back in school again, lounging under the trees.

She just raises an eyebrow and stares at me. We sit in silence for more than a few minutes, neither of us having anything to really say.

"So aren't you going to start proclaiming your loyalty to You-Know-Who? I was there at your trial. Seems like you were pretty proud. You kept saying it over and over again."

"Then there is no need for me to repeat it is there?" She stares at me. "Besides I told you, I want to do this in chronological order. The Dark Lord doesn't come in until later. Much later," she has a faraway look in her eyes before turning her attention back to me. "Anyways, I think I want to hear a little more about you. After-all we did spend much time together in school. However, I don't think we ever really got to know about each other did we?"

"It isn't going to be part of my book, Bellatrix."

"Don't call me Bellatrix. You sound like my mother. Merlin, how I hated that women. My name was so overused. Every other sentence she said to me had my name in it. Annoying as hell."

"Why do you think she did it?"

"Like I know," she snorts. "It was as if she thought using my name over and over again would make obey better. Maybe it worked for a while. I was never her favorite. Cissy was my father's and Dromeda was my mother's. Of course she turned into a blood traitor. Though Mother died before she ever found out. Pity really. I would have loved to see the look on her face as my aunt blasted her name off the family tapestry," she gave a humorless laugh.

"Do you miss your sister?"

"Andromeda? No. What she got was well deserved, if not, more. And Narcissa? She was always whining or bitching about something. Drama was what Narcissa thrived on. There were sometimes I just wanted to, I don't know, kill her. Then she married that Malfoy bloke. If there was someone more annoying than Cissy, it was Lucius Malfoy. He was always snooping about where he didn't belong. But at least she married into a respectable, pure-blood family. Although I bet their son Draco will be just like his father. I have no high hopes for the continuance of the Black family line."

"Why not?" I ask curiously.

"Because it is us three girls with no Black family name and my cousins, one of whom is dead and the other, a blood traitor too."

"Sirius Black?" I ask, surprised. "But he is supposed to be a huge supporter of Who-Know-Who."

"Yes, that is what they tell me."

"You don't believe it?"

"What I believe isn't really the question here. As I said, before I go on, I would like you to answer some questions about yourself."

"Fine. One question."

"One? Now that hardly seems fair does it not?" She smirks at me, taunting me.

"Now fair really doesn't exists does it not?" I quip back.

She smiles at me. "I believe I have told you this already but my how have I missed having you around. Always sharp with a comeback. Okay, since I do really miss your company, I'll only have you answer one."

"Aren't you generous? Well what is it?"

"What is what?"

"Your question," I spit through gritted teeth, trying not to lose my patience with her games.

"Oh that."

"Yes. That."

"I think I want to save it until later actually, so keep a tally."

"Okay what the fuck is this, Bee? Are you trying to mess with me huh? Is that it? Because I am not very appreciative of it!" I explode, standing out of my seat and knocking it over in the process.

She raises an eyebrow before laughing, a cruel high-pitched laugh. "My, my Cici, no need for temper tantrums. I only suggested it because it might be easier for you to get your job done first then I can get all I want to know."

"No I know you Bella and I know you are fucking with me right now. Well fine, if you want to play I will play, but I swear to God, you better not try anything."

"But what do you honestly think I am going to try," she manages between laughs, "I am in a prison cell. Don't worry my friend, you haven't anything to flip out over. Please sit down. It is rather rude of me to stay sitting in the pleasure of company but I'm afraid the guards have been as kind as to chain me down so I don't think I will be moving anytime soon."

"We are done for today anyways. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ta-ta for now, Cicily! Please do come again," She raises a hand in a slow wave as I march out of there, trying not to look back at my old-demented friend.

When I arrive the next day, she is already there, inspecting her fingernails. "It is rather rude to keep your host waiting you know," she says not looking up as I slowly sit down. "Just so you know, I don't think I feel like continuing until you apologize for your behavior yesterday. I mean walking out like that, yelling at me, I don't think it was very civilized."

"You murder people. You torture them to insanity, to the very last inch of their life! How is that civilized?"

"I never said it was," she says, shrugging. "But we aren't discussing me, we are discussing you. One should always behave politely in public."

"Another Black rule for ladies?"

"Yes, but I have long given up those rules. You see Cicily, I have seen what truly matters. Those rules weren't for me. But they still should apply for you."

"Why?"

She sighs, "Cici, I am not going to explain it to you. It will take far too long and you will never understand. Besides I think we have a story to continue, don't you?"

"Are you going to tell it right?"

"Yes, give me the potions. Can't have you thinking I am some sort of liar."

I don't say what I am thinking which I am sure she knows but there would be no point. Continuing this will get us nowhere.

"So where would you like to start?" I ask politely.

"How about where I left off? Seems like a good place to me."

***Flashback***

"Bellatrix! Supper is ready. Wash your hands and come down."

I sighed and looked over at Trixie who was perched on the chair beside me, reading over my shoulder. "I think I need a new name."

She laughed. "Yes, Mother does use our name a lot."

"My name," I corrected.

"Bells, we have been going over this for weeks. We are the same person. No need for all this I am me and you are you shit."

"What does that even mean?" I asked.

"You'll figure it out. We are after-all, the same person, as much as you would like to deny it."

"Bellatrix!" My mother's voice came again.

"She's almost yelling," I winced. "I better go. You know how she doesn't approve of yelling."

"Yes. Oh remember to show them what we did. This could be our chance to finally prove ourself to them," Trixie reminded me.

"Trust me, I haven't forgotten," I said and let go of the book as it rose up to find its place among the others.

"Be brave, Bella. Oh and happy birthday," Trixie smiled at me.

"Thanks, you too?" I asked, unsure.

"If it's yours, it's mine," she shrugged. "Now get going. Only three years until we are off to Hogwarts and we very well can't go if we are lying six feet under in a casket can we?"

"We?" I repeated. "Who said anything about we? No, you aren't coming with me to school. Everyone will think I am crazy if I am seen talking to myself."

"We will talk about it later," She shook her head, "Now get going. Maybe they have something planned for you."

"Doubtful," I muttered as I slowly exited the room, cringing as I heard Mother call my name for the third time.

I ran down to the dining room, making sure it didn't sound like I was running until I got to the door. "Sorry, Mother, I was busy studying what my tutor taught me and lost track of time. And yes, I know a Black lady never loses track of time," I added as my mother opened her mouth. She quickly closed it, looking surprised. She didn't say anything, there was no nod of approval, and so I imagined she really wasn't all that pleased with my memory, or lack of for not remembering to do so in the first place.

"Nice of you to join us, Bellatrix," my father said, coolly and I winced, remembering how we used to be close, how my father was always the one looking out for me.

"Happy ninth birthday," my sister Andromeda said from beside me.

I looked at her surprised. "Thank you." It was rare for Dromeda to remember anything, being six years old, much less my birthday.

"Cissy and I made you something," She whispered, proudly.

"Thank you," I whispered back, knowing it was probably something awful, but they had done their best.

"Girls, please stop talking," Father said and we immediately turned to the table, so he could begin with the same speech we heard every night. "The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black has stood standing for many, many generations, carried on by only the most worthy of people, leaving us where we are today. Tonight is another night that we continue to live up to this legacy. And by repeating this, we ensure our promises to keep our blood-line pure and strong."

The food immediately appeared and I groaned as I saw my least favorite dish appear. Not that I was going to say anything. "On and Bellatrix," My father added as an afterthought.

"Yes, Father?"

"Please remember to drink all of your tea this time. I don't want any of it to go to waste. This type is rather expensive."

I sighed. Of course he wouldn't remember. Or care. It was always about my sisters now and there was nothing I could do about… "Mother, Father,"

Both my parents looked over at me. Suppers were supposed to be eaten in silence. "Yes?" My mother asked, in a dangerous tone.

"I have something to show you, after supper of course. I have been perfecting it for weeks now."

"Oh. Something your tutor has taught you then?"

"No, it was more of a side project, actually. I wanted to show you that I firmly believe in purifying our existence without any muggles or mudbloods."

My parent both glanced at each other but didn't say anything. "Very well, Bellatrix. After supper, but only if you finish everything on your plate," My mother sighed.

I nodded and made sure to take very small helpings. I would sneak down to the kitchens later and hopefully find something there.

After what felt like years, my parents were both finally finished, along with my sisters. "Okay, Bellatrix, what is it you would like to show us?" Mother asked.

"Follow me," I said excitedly, and hoping that Trixie was right. "It is out in the gardens."

I had hidden it rather well I thought, and I had to learn many spells to keep my parents from finding it. Not that it mattered. Neither went out into the gardens anymore.

"Bellatrix, how long will this take? I have things that need to be done," Mother said and I felt angry at that. We lived in a house full of house elves. There was nothing my mother had to do.

"Do you not like spending time with me anymore? Either of you?" I asked quietly as I led them through the mazes of trees.

I could practically feel my parents exchanging a glance. "Bellatrix, we will discuss this later when your sisters aren't around." My mother said sternly.

Finally when we got to the tree I took my wand and said a couple words. It was complex magic but I had studied hard. Suddenly an unconscious boy was shown and both my parent gasped.

"Bellatrix Black what is this?" My father demanded angrily.

At the same time my mother said. "Bellatrix, just what have you done?"

"It is a muggle boy, from a near-by village. I managed to trick him into coming down to play with me. I have kept him here and have been practicing all sorts of magic on him. I'm not very good at the torture curse yet, but I will figure it out."

My parents this time looked alarmed. "Bellatrix you cannot do this. What is wrong with you? We have brought you up right and you repay us by kidnapping a child. This is not right Bellatrix. The ministry will be looking right at us as we are the only wizarding family near here. Use your common sense for Merlin's sake! Do you know how much trouble this will cause us?"

"I was just trying to show you that I can do whatever it takes. Please. I just wanted you to see." I pleaded. Trixie lied. This wasn't going right.

"This wasn't what we wanted!" My father shouted. "Now Bellatrix, go upstairs to your room. And I don't want you leaving except for meals, and you tutor, do you understand me?"

"This is just another problem you have caused for us. Why can't you just behave," My mother said.

I kept my eyes to the ground as I walked up to my room. What had I done wrong?

***end***

"So you kidnapped a muggle boy?" I ask in disbelief.

"I suppose yes, though he was the one who followed me home," she sighs. "I was a very naïve little girl. I always thought that I could do something that would make them suddenly love me."

"And yet they never did?"

"No. I have never quite figured it out. I was the perfect daughter. I always did what I was told, absorbing everything I could. Dromeda decided to go against everything they believed in and while Cissy didn't, she still never did anything they told her, except to marry properly. Only thing she ever did that was right. And there I was: the eldest. Always following orders, trying my best to please them, marrying into a family they had always wanted connections into even though I couldn't stand Rodolphus's family. Especially his brother. And I still wasn't the daughter they wanted. I did everything I could and they never once changed their mind about me. I gave up caring for them. Mother was always bothering me about something and Father was just as bad. He never had an opinion of his own and when he did, he never expressed it. He preferred to sit it out and watch.

"He used to love me and treated me like royalty, before my youngest sister was born. Mother always argued with him about it. Even when I was younger, saying that there was something wrong with me. She believed that I was going to grow up wrong. Father always insisted that she treated me older than I really was. But eventually he gave into her when Cissy was born and stopped paying attention to me. I was about six."

"I am sorry," I say, not lying.

"Are you really?" She asks searching my face for the truth and I nod. "Well don't be. I for one am glad. It made me stronger, able to face anything that came my way. My sisters aren't like that. They are cowards, always hiding from the truth, unable to really do what is needed of them. I'm not like that. I never was. I knew what needed to be done and I took the measures to do it. And I haven't regretted anything I have done."

"Not even this cell?" I ask quietly.

"Not even this cell. This cell shows that I stand for what I believe in. That I, unlike anyone else am always willing to do what is needed. Of course I wish that I had gone to jail for something other than torturing the Longbottoms. I mean really. It was almost too easy."

"Well of course. Four against two is always easier," I say, rolling my eyes.

"I don't find that funny besides, I was the only one that ever did any work. Rodolphus and Rabastan and Crouch never did anything. While I put up with Rodolphus and his brother, Crouch was impossible. He hardly ever did anything, always waiting for others to do his work. And I was always the one to pick up after his mess. While my one true devotion is to the Dark Lord I must say, I never agreed with his choices of who he trusted. I was always getting them out of trouble, so the Dark Lord would know that when the day comes I will always be there, faithful to the core. And only us will rule the world when it is ours."

"When? But he-whom-must-not-be-named is gone. Dead. Forever."

"Oh, Cicily, surely you cannot be that naïve," She let out a bone-chilling laugh. "One day he will return and when he does, he will be waiting to welcome me back as his queen. And the world shall be ours and only ours. A world where there will be no room for filth. And the only the purest will remain standing."

"That won't leave very many wizards will it?" I ask.

"Of course not. The half-bloods will be left to do the dirty work, but only the pure will have any say. And there may be not many people but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make. The world doesn't need the filth it has brought in. I like to think of it as a community service project. Free of charge."

"Except death for those who don't meet you standards. That is the highest price people can pay."

"But those aren't really people. They are muggles. And mudbloods are exactly the same in my book. They are unworthy of this world. I have known that since I was born."

"You knew that you were going to become a killer when you were born?"

"I think I always knew. I knew that I needed to help purify our race and I knew I would go to any lengths to make sure that it would happen. After all, that is why I am the Dark Lord's best lieutenant."

***Flashback***

"Trixie, they didn't like it. I don't know what else to do. They are furious and I don't know why!" I screamed when I entered my room, slamming the door behind me. "You promised this would work and it didn't!"

"Wait they didn't like it?" Trixie jumped from my desk that she had been sitting on.

"No! They are very angry, Trix," I said.

"Oh no. Maybe we didn't do something right. It was a muggle right?"

"Of course! I had been practicing all sorts of spells on him and my parents are angry! They are angry that I was teaching him where he belonged!"

"Maybe if we had killed him, they would have been happier," Trixie suggested.

I looked at her horrified. "What are saying? I can't have killed him. That would have been very bad. Plus I have no idea what I would do after or even how I would do it."

"The killing curse. It is easy and effective. Remember we read about it last week?"

"Trixie, I am not killing any one. I don't think Mother and Father would appreciate it. I would be in even more trouble than I am now. And I can't have that."

"Bella, you are thinking about this way too much. Maybe the best thing for now is for us to go our own way. Mother and Father obviously can't see what we need to do. Remember what we overheard last week? About how all those muggles went missing? Mother and Father said they deserved it, whatever they got. Maybe that is what we should do."

"I can't do it. I am too young plus I don't know half the spells I need to."

"Then we will wait. Wait until the day comes where we need to prove ourself."

"That could take forever. It could be years before we are powerful enough to do it. Besides Mother and Father said it was illegal to kill. I can't do to prison. Not at this age."

"Like I said then we will wait. And maybe it will take a couple months, or a few years or even ten or twenty years. We will wait. And then one day, we will take our chance, maybe get some people, recruit them and have them join us and we will take over the world together. Just you and me, Bells, just us. And we will have Mother and Father's approval finally. But by then it won't even matter because by then you will see that what they think really doesn't matter because they are cowards."

"You shouldn't speak about Mother and Father that way," I scolded.

"Bella, it is the truth and you know it. They are too scared to do what is needed of them. Father's speech every night reminds us that we need to purify the world. To keep our blood clean and to rid of those that might impose a threat. But Father, he can't do it. He is too afraid to lose his job to do what is important. And Mother is too keen on playing the house wife until she dies. Never will she want to do anything that could harm her seemingly perfect existence. So we wait. We wait until the opportunity comes. And I promise you that when it does, Mother and Father will see us in a new light and they will remember that they had nothing to do with us becoming who we are. They will feel the shame that their own daughter had to show them that they lost themselves along the path of life and that only we managed to stay strong and stay true to our destiny. That only we managed to not stray and lose ourself along the way. And every one will bow down to us because we are the truth. It will take a long time, but that is all for the better. We will have more time to prepare ouself for what is coming, Bella, and I promise you, it will be spectacular!"

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to J.K. Rowling.

AN: I know that ourself should really be ourselves so if anyone is looking at that, it is on purpose. Trixie and Bella are the same person. Trixie is just the sub-conscience of Bellatrix.


	4. Letters and Diagon Alley

AN: Sorry it took me so long to update... for some reason the site wouldn't let me update. This has actually been done for over a week. But thank God for people who ask questions on yahoo that show up on google... actually just thank god for search engines otherwise I probably never would have been able to figure it out. I thought it was just my account. Again sorry for the wait

Disclaimer: I don't own any you may happen to recognize.

October 1983

"So I see today is your birthday? Happy birthday," I say pleasantly after Bellatrix has taken all of the potions necessary.

"Is it? Hmmm well thank you, it has been a long time since someone has wished me a happy birthday. Though I don't suppose there will be much in the way of celebrating today will there? Seeing as I am behind bars and all. Of course you could help out with that."

"Lestrange, you know as well as I do that I will not be helping you escape anytime soon so please knock it off. I am not in the mood today."

"It is getting to you isn't it? Being in Azkaban for this long of a time. How long has it been? A month?"

"Yes, about."

"Well I promise you Cicily, it will get worse. Much worse."

"You seem to be doing fine," I reply.

"Of course, you need to have hope to let the dementors affect you. You need happiness and seeing how I have none there really isn't much for them to do is there?"

"You don't believe in hope or happiness?" I ask skeptically.

"Not really. Having either of those things makes one susceptible to anyone. Instead I rely on knowing. And my past wasn't particularly happy either."

"So entering into you-know-who's inner circle wasn't a happy memory?"

"I suppose it was. The happiest moment of my life. Or one of them. But I don't think of it as happy. I think of it as merely having happened. It is the only way to survive a place like this. You ever get a chance to see the other prisoners you will understand what I am talking about. They all have hope and happiness when they come. And if they leave, they are drained. They don't feel it anymore. It takes your life being here. And I refuse to be taken. I still have a job that needs to be done."

"And that is?"

"Never you mind. It isn't all that important nor does it have anything to do with you. Therefore it doesn't require your concern."

"Mhmmmm," I say, not taking the bait that she had very nicely laid out for me. She wanted me to ask just so she could play with me.

"Anyways, talk to one of the guards… The human guards. I am sure they will have some stuff to help you out. Oh and by the way, I was thinking we would skip a couple of years. Those years don't have anything interesting in them. Just a lot of me learning, me and my parents fighting, nothing useful for you to be able to divulge through and pick apart who I am."

"So where are we starting today?"

"I was thinking when I got my Hogwarts letter. It is rather lengthy though. It might take a couple visits for you to get the whole story."

"That is quite alright."

"Fabulous. We will begin that morning. It only gets worse from here on out. Last chance Cicily. You sure you want to hear this? You might find yourself unable to turn back once you do."

"Bellatrix, please quit messing around and get to the point already."

"Fine. I remember the day perfectly. It was hot and sunny. The worst type of day, where it feels as if the Earth would set fire at any minutes, as if you would melt like a wax doll. But I could sense it was going to happen. I just knew it, down to my core. This was the day my life was going to change. I would never be the same after this."

"So this was our last lesson together, Bellatrix. You have done fantastic these past couple years," my tutor smiled at me as she gathered her things.

"Thank you Madame Fourik," I smiled.

"Not at all dear. Not at all. But I want you to promise me that you won't forget any of this when you head off to school."

"I promise, I won't. I'll practice every day," I said.

"I bet you will. One day, you will be a very great witch. You are so talented."

"More talented than anyone else you tutor?" I asked hopefully.

"Merlin yes! So much better. You are a natural. Have you gotten your Hogwarts letter yet?"

"No, not yet," I said, feeling the disappointment. It was supposed to have come already. I could tell from the looks on my parents faces.

"Oh, dear, there is nothing to worry about. Hogwarts doesn't start until September. You still have two weeks! That is a huge amount of time left. Old Professor Dumbledore probably just hasn't gotten around to it yet."

"What if I am a squib?" I asked, tears starting to sting at the corner of my eyes.

"As if! Have you or have you not been performing magic these past couple years?"

"Yes."

"Then you are a witch as simple as that. So there is no need to fret," she gently wiped the tear that had managed to escape. "But I would get yourself cleaned up before you go see your mother. I know how she isn't tolerant of crying."

"Thank you again. For everything. You have taught me so much."

"No thank you, Miss Black. You are one of my brightest students. Always ready and eager to learn. I only hope that your sisters will be half as good as you."

"I wouldn't count on it," I muttered.

"Well, I best be off, and remember I am sure it will come soon enough. I promise. Do you feel a little different today?"

I looked up and asked, "How so?"

"Just that things are going to change. Something is going to happen maybe?"

"Yes! Ever since I woke up!"

" There you see? I would bet you anything it will come today." She smiled at me and stuck out her hand.

"How do you know?" I asked as I shook it.

She bent down and whispered softly, "Because that was exactly how I felt when my Hogwarts letter arrived all those years ago." Then with a small wave she exited the room.

"Bellatrix! Come here for a minute," my mother's voice called and I heard the relief in her voice. It had come!

"Coming," I answered and quickly rushed to the patio where my mother was sitting sipping tea.

"This came for you this morning while you were getting ready for your tutoring. I didn't want to distract you so here it is."

I took the letter gingerly from her hands, my hands shaking with excitement. "This is it," I whispered, looking at the seal on the back.

"Congratulations, please hurry up on opening it though. I would like to get the shopping done immediately."

"Yes, Mother," I said and with trembling fingers opened the envelope.

"_'Dear Miss Black',"_ I read slowly, _"'We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.' _Mother, this is it. I'm going to Hogwarts!"

"Of course you are. Where else would we have you go? Alright, do you have your things all ready?" My mother asked and I nodded.

"Brilliant. Let's leave now. Don't forget that letter of yours. I want the entire list. Thankfully after this, we can just send out house elves to pick up our belongings but I want you to have a proper wand when you start."

"Thank you so much Mother," I smiled and she merely nodded. "How are we going to get to Diagon Alley?"

"Apparation," she simply replied and I took the hand she offered to me. Floo was much too messy.

We appeared a moment later outside in the alley, and I couldn't keep the smile from my face as I looked around. I hadn't left the Black Manor ever, except for the occasional party or when I snuck off. Never had I been to the alleys of London. It was busy with witches and wizards rushing about each way.

"Now remember Bellatrix, what I told you about behaving in public. Please do not embarrass me this trip."

I nodded and let go of her hand, smoothing out my robes, "Where to first?"

"Are you planning on taking an animal?"

"Yes Mother. I was hoping for a cat to keep me company. You know how people can behave so petty sometimes. And then I was thinking maybe an owl. I don't want to have to borrow one of the schools. It is so common and I don't want an owl I use having stepped into some disease infested mudblood or muggle home."

"Very well. We will pick up those last. It will be easier. For now, let us focus on a wand, robes, then your text books and other school supplies."

We made our way to the various wand shops, Mother not finding any of them appealing. "Ollivander's will have to do I suppose."

"What is wrong with him?" I asked curious.

"Nothing," Mother sighed. "Everyone goes there but that is because he is the best. I just wish we could go somewhere more extravagant. Not so common."

We both entered. "With you in a moment," a voice called from the back.

After a moment, the old wand maker came from the back followed by a boy and his mother. "Will this be all?" he asked.

"Yes," she said shortly. "Druella, how nice to see you here," the woman said as if she meant nothing by it.

"Yes it is very lovely, Lelia," my mother replied, her face contorting as if she smelt something bad.

"Have you met my son?" The woman asked, pulling the boy in front of her. "This is Aiden. He will be heading off to Hogwarts this year. What about yours?"

"This is Bellatrix. And she will be joining your son."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I said, remembering the manners I have had drilled into my head since I was born.

The woman made an undistinguishable noise but doesn't say anything. I have decided I don't like her. "Well, Druella, it seems you have done well for yourself. I am so terribly sorry I could never make it to your wedding all those years ago."

"No matter. I didn't even think of attending yours," my mother said and even though it sounds as polite as ever, I know it is a huge insult.

The woman's face fell into a frown as she shot my mother a sharp glare. "Who did you end up marrying anyways? Some poor washed-up mudblood? Or worse muggle?"

"No I always saved that position of disgrace for you, Lelia. I married Cygnus, you remember? That handsome boy you always liked? I never meant to steal him away from you all those years ago," I was able to tell from the slight tone in my mother's voice that she didn't mean a single word of it. She had known.

"Oh I am sure you didn't," Lelia sneered.

"Well whom did you marry? I am quite anxious to know," Mother said.

"You know him. He was a teacher at Hogwarts when we were children."

"Roland Contex?" My mother asked, sounding surprised. Then as quickly as that look came it went. "No wonder you always got better scores than I. Come to think of it, that's why you were always walking around for late night rendezvous. Would that also be why you had to where loose clothing towards the end of our seventh year?"

Lelia sputtered indignantly. I had never seen this side of my mother before. She may have always been harsh, but only in a bossy sort of tone. And no one ever argued with her for fear of their lives. My mother was a terrifying woman sometimes.

"I thought so," my mother said, a smile pulling at her lips. "At least I know you will never change, Lelia, always sleeping around with the wrong sort. What did your parents have to say? More importantly your brother?"

"It was neither of my parents' business and it especially wasn't Abraxas's," She sniffed indignantly.

"Ah yes, I forgot you were once an all mighty Malfoy. Shaming that name must put you very low on their toleration list," Mother said. Before Lelia could speak my mother started off again. "He has a son now, doesn't he? Lucius or something?"

Lelia nodded, her mouth clenched tightly together.

"Ah, well please remind me to keep my daughters away from him as I don't want my family's name being besmirched by your horrifying choices. And Contex? He wasn't even a pureblood. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I know I am and I am positive everyone else is. Tell the Malfoys that I said 'hello' if you would be so kind as to do so. That is if you are even allowed near their house after your betrayal," with that mother grabbed my hand and we walked to the back of the store to start looking for wands. I glanced up at my mother and saw she had a slight smirk on her face. We were very much in touch with the Malfoys whom came over to visit every other week or so. And I knew that she thought the Malfoys were a very good connection. I also knew she wanted one of us girls to marry their son. The only matter was who?

"I apologize for the wait," the old man walked back. "So are you here to buy your first wand?"

I opened my mouth to say of course not and that I had already owned one but my mother beat me to it. "Of course she is. Why else would we be here?" She snapped, impatiently.

"I don't believe we have ever met. Did you buy your wand from a different place?"

"I knew a private wand maker whose family had been making wands for generations. Unfortunately he died a couple years back along with the business."

"Ah, well I promise you, you and your daughter here will not be disappointed."

"I should hope not," My mother sniffed. "So how does this work? My wand maker normally took measurements before making the wand."

"Well the wand chooses the wizard," he said and swished his wand. Some measuring tapes floated over and started to measure me. "It's a motto we have passed down for generations. Let us get started. What's your name little lady?" He asked, pulling some boxes from the selves before putting them back.

"Bellatrix Black," I answered proudly.

"Well Miss Black, why don't we start with this one?" he pulled a box off the shelf and allowed me to take the wand.

I pointed the wand at the empty box and said, "_wingardium leviosa._" The box gave a shudder but didn't move.

"Hmmm, no not this one," he put it back. And on and on it went for what seemed like hours. Some boxes would do the same, some nothing happened to, some went flying in every direction and the occasional exploded, leaving only smoky ashes.

"It will be alright," he said after vanishing the fifth smoking pile of ash that I had managed to produce. All with a simple charm that I had mastered years ago. "We will find it eventually. Sometimes, the wands can be quite picky but that is quite okay."

"Why is it taking so long," my mother said, obviously losing faith in the old wand maker.

"Sometimes, the right wand just hasn't found who it is looking for."

"Did you measure her correctly?"

"Yes Mrs Black, I assure you they are correct," he said, sounding exasperated as my mother had been asking this question a lot.

A few more boxes came and went before I saw a box I liked. It was a silky black and quite extravagant. Actually no, it looked like most boxes in the shop but just looking at it, I knew. "That is it," I said, pointing to the box.

He chuckled and said, "Well if you say so little lady."

"I'm not just saying," I said taking the wand that was held out to me, "I know." As soon as I touched it, it felt right. I didn't need to say spell. The wind blew up and I could feel the magic become a part of me.

"I see you were right," he smiled and took the wand from me gently. "This is a fine wand Miss Black. 12 ¾ inches made of walnut and a core of dragon heartstring. Unyielding," he murmured the last part, causing me to have a difficult time hearing him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, feeling annoyed.

"Bellatrix, now that we have found your wand, we need to leave. We have many other stops to make before you have all your things."

"Yes, mother," I said, and after paying we left to go find a robe shop.

"What about Madame Malkin's?" I asked as we passed.

"No, Bellatrix. You don't know what sort of filth you'll find there. We are headed to Twilfit and Tattings. It is where I used to get all my robes and sometimes still do when Clarissa is too busy to make them."

"Yes, Mother," I said, not wanting to cause an argument. We hardly spent any time together after all and this was one of my few chances to prove to her what a good daughter I was.

It didn't take long to get there and I immediately liked Knockturn Alley much more than Diagon Alley. The shop had magnificent robes all over on display.

"You aren't in need of many school robes," Mother said looking at me list, "But I think it best to always be prepared. I can put a nice charm on your trunk to make it hold more. Excuse me," she called to one of the workers, "I need my daughter fitted for robes."

A young, skinny, woman immediately bustled over. "Of course, my dears. Follow me." She led us to the back. "Now what kind of robes were you thinking? I know Hogwarts requires plain black ones, but honestly, where is the glamour in that? Us pureblood women must stick together and that includes us all looking our very best."

I could see the respect for the woman growing in my mother's eyes. She always did believe fashion should be everything. "Now, I was thinking a set of three plain black robes for work. That way, if anything hazardous happens to them, it isn't as if you've just ruined your best pair. Then perhaps a set of three black robes with our best material. A set of two robes with your house color lining it. Three sets of regular robes, not school issued. And a pair or two of dress robes. Also I was thinking five different cloaks. Two of which being heavy for winter. One lighter, one lighter with your house colors, and then another one of any color. That way you will be all set. And maybe some clothes for under your robes? Sometimes they can get awful hot," the woman said this in one breath, looking very excited. She knew we had money and knew we were willing to pay for the very best.

"Perfect," My mother said.

"Now do you want to send me a letter once you find out your house and we can stitch the lining on and send it over to Hogwarts?" She asked.

"No," I said. "It will be green and silver."

"Are you sure? I don't want to have to redo them. It will cost much more. You sure you don't want to wait?"

"No," I said more firmly. "I know what house I will belong to. Slytherin is my rightful house and I am not expecting anything less than it."

"Well you certainly know what you want," she smiled at me. "Anyways, super! Let's get started!"

In the end, I ended up with even more than that. I took home with me three sets of pure black robes that were very light. I could easily wear other clothes under it and use it only as a precaution in subjects such as potions and herbology. I ended up taking four sets of black robes. The silky material was soft and fit perfectly. It hugged my body in every right way, and wasn't loose unlike my work robes. I glanced at myself in the mirror. I couldn't wait until I got older. Being only eleven, though I was almost twelve, I looked a little awkward like most of those my age. Being a Black though, I wasn't as much. My clear, pale skin stood out against my long, black hair. I had grown up with a grace no other possessed and I was still growing. The robes would most likely not fit the next year and I was happy about it. I couldn't wait until I got older, when I would look more sophisticated.

The hats that she gave me were two of their finest black material, and one that was a deep emerald green with silver lining and when we finally left, we were carrying many bags that had been shrunken in size and in weight.

The rest of the trip was fairly uneventful until our last stop to pick up the animals I wanted. "Bellatrix, go on ahead of me and try to find them. Here is more than enough to buy them," my mother handed me a sack that could probably buy me the store itself.

"Where are you going?" I asked, confused.

"I'm heading over to meet Vanessa," Mother said, referring to one of her old friends from Hogwarts. "I have been meaning to have tea with her for months and now that we are here, it is a perfect time."

Vanessa owned a tea shop, one of the most expensive in the magical world, and I, being as young as I was, wasn't allowed. Not that I minded. Being alone without Mother in the alleys of the London Magical World would be a something I probably wouldn't have the chance to experience until I was out of Hogwarts.

"I'll meet you in the Leaky Cauldron around eleven tonight," Mother said and briskly walked away leaving me on the bustling street of Diagon Alley alone. I couldn't figure why she had picked the leaky cauldron considering it accepted everyone, but I chose to not read anything into it. I did, after all, have over eight hours before I had to meet her again and had a sack full of money.

I walked along the streets, examining every shop closely.

"Maps, maps, get you maps here. Only a knut for the most advanced map of the London Magical world. Never get lost again!" A street peddler was shouting. There was a fair amount of people around him, most being people in strange clothing so I assumed they were tourists. No one in England would ever dream of wearing something that dastardly.

"Pardon me," I pushed my way through the crowd. "I need a map," I said to the man.

"Well little lady, that will be one knut," he said.

Mother didn't have to know I figured so I took out the sack and handed him a knut. "Here, I want your best map. Not just a cheap one that will get everyone lost like the ones you are selling."

He chuckled. "Tell you what, normally those are a galleon but since you are so smart, I'll give you it for eighteen sickles."

"Do you think I am stupid?" I asked, insulted. "Not only is that equal to a galleon, it is more than it. Now how about I report you for false advertising and let's see how many galleons it will cost you. So do both you and me a favor and give me that map for what you are charging for a map that _never_ gets you lost. One knut. Those others are worthless. Something both you and I know. And I suppose everyone else." I smirked at him as his face slowly turned to outrage.

"You lost me my customers, girl," he hissed.

"It was your own damn fault," I said and held out my hand. "I want that map now. And don't even think I am going to say please. You no longer deserve politeness."

Grumbling he handed me his map and started to chase after his customers, probably to tell them all how I was just a bored little girl. I quickly went behind his stand and grabbed his maps, stuffing them into my bag.

"Hey, you, get back here," he shouted and I quickly sprinted away down the nearest alley. "Give me back my maps."

"Not a chance in hell," I shouted back, picking up the pace and thanking Merlin the man was overweight. "You deserve it. Teaches you not to cheat people. Maybe next time you'll think about that before you try to sell bogus maps!" I quickly made a left and sped down another alley. Alley after alley I went before I had finally lost him. I leaned up against the wall trying to catch my breath. After a couple minutes when I finally managed to breathe properly again, I started off to get back to the alley. It wasn't until I went onto another alley that I realized I had absolutely no idea where I was.

I took out the good map and looked at it carefully. Hunud Alley. I had never heard of it before. Looking around I quickly realized this was one of the alleys that dealt in the dark arts. The map's ink suddenly vanished leaving nothing on it. "Shit," I muttered. At least I hadn't paid for it. Looking at one of the cheap maps, I knew my only chance to get out of here was to ask someone, considering the maps areas changed places every few seconds.

Walking towards me was a group of figures all in thick black cloaks with hoods that hid their faces. "Pardon me," I approached them, but none of them even gave a hint that they had noticed me. Turning to leave, I decided the figures were just really snobby. Not people I really wanted to lead me back to Diagon Alley. They might know my mother and then I would really be in trouble, but looking up and down the alley I realized they were the only people in sight. Well, they seemed to know where they were going at least. If I followed them, I might have a better chance of getting somewhere I recognized.

_Or lost or killed. _A voice sounded in my head and I almost expected Trixie to turn up. "Bellatrix, get a grip," I told myself. "Trixie isn't real and you need to get out of here. I rather be dead than Mother finding out I disobeyed her orders."

"Talking to yourself again, Bella," a voice sounded behind me. "It is really unbecoming. It shows mental instability."

I turned around to see Trixie leaning up against the door smirking at me. "You are not real. You are not real," I closed my eyes muttering. I opened them. She was still there.

"We have been over this so many times. I am as real as you, and as real as those men you are so keen on following."

"You were supposed to be leaving me alone. I haven't seen you in years. I thought I had gotten rid of you," I gritted my teeth.

"Dear Bella, you know that isn't how this works."

"Trixie, go away. I don't need this right now," I turned away from her and stalked after the men in the cloaks.

I made sure to be quiet and be undetected. If I didn't draw any unnecessary attention, maybe I wouldn't be murdered. I followed them at a safe distance for a while, ducking behind anything when I thought they might turn around. They finally came to a building and I recognized the alley we had finally turned onto as Knockturn Alley.

"Bella, just get out of here," Trixie muttered. "Mother won't be happy to find us lying dead in the alley. It is undignified."

"No, I am not going to listen to you," I whispered. And to prove her wrong I ducked beneath the window of the building, listening intently.

"My Lord, we have done what you asked of us."

"Yes, and?" a voice hissed, and I found that it was both terrifying and exhilarating. This voice knew what power was.

"It went extremely well. I don't think those filthy muggles knew what hit them. Made it look like an accident too, we did," a third voice answered.

"Good, good," the second voice said, "we can't have any suspicions rising before our plan is set into action."

I shared a look with Trixie. "Bella," her voice was so soft I could hardly hear her, "We need to go, now. Please."

"No. If this is about ridding muggles of this world this could be my chance to finally prove to Mother and Father that I am not as worthless as they think."

"You'll be more worthless dead," she muttered, glaring at me.

"Better to die trying than to live life being worthless."

She didn't say anything, and we continued to listen to the voices. They were talking softer now, and I had to strain my ears to pick up pieces of the conversation. "Muggles, mudbloods… traitors…well deserved… purify…soon war will…important to get right…plan…rightful places."

Suddenly a shrill voice called out, "Has that window been open the entire time? Do you know who could have been listening?"

"Sorry, my Lord," a voice and answered. I lay flat against the wall, thanking Marlin the window jutted out just enough I hopefully wouldn't be spotted if whoever went to close the window happened to look down. It was only when the window was slammed shut that I realized I had been holding my breath.

"That was too close," Trixie murmured next to me. I nodded in agreement and we started to get up when look screams came from inside the building.

"Run!" she shouted and we rushed down the alley hoping not to get noticed. When we finally reached Diagon it was only then that we stopped to catch our breath.

I looked beside me to tell Trixie she needed to go but she had already vanished. Sighing I pushed myself away from the wall trying to ignore the strange looks I was receiving. The sun had long set and I realized I still needed to pick up the animals. I quickly hurried down the road, my adventure still fresh in my mind.

"Thank you, young lady and have a good night," the voice called. I nodded in return holding my new barn owl's cage in one hand and the cats' carrier in the other. I knew Mother would have a royal fit when she saw that not only had I bought an owl that wasn't the most expensive there but that I had also bought two cats, a Siamese one and a pure white Persian one. At least Mother couldn't lecture me for taste there. The owl though, I had fallen in love with the heart shaped face, so maybe Mother would give me points for choosing beauty. Probably not, however.

I had figured though, what Mother didn't know wouldn't hurt her. She rarely ever spent time with me and besides parties and mealtimes, it was like no one in the family existed. It was like no one lived there. I would sometimes walk the empty halls for hours, and wouldn't come across anyone.

I got to the pub earlier than needed and after having asked for a private table, decided maybe now was the time to call upon one of the house elves.

"Doris!" I called out and immediately a pop sounded.

"Mistress called?" the elf asked, bowing.

Doris was only one of my many personal house elves, meaning I had more authority over Doris than Mother.

"Doris, take these back to my room," I said, motioning to the animals, "And don't let anyone see you, provide them with everything they'll need and I forbid you to tell anyone especially Mother about this. Oh and take these bags back also."

The elf nodded and with another pop everything disappeared. I sat back and sipped on my tea, pondering the events of earlier today. What were those men doing? Who were they? And why, the most important of all, had Trixie appeared? I hadn't seen her in years and suddenly she had returned, as real as ever, if not more.

When Mother appeared right on time, though a seemingly bit tipsy, we returned home. And when I had tried to go to sleep, something struck me, much more terrifying than the event that had happened today. I had defied my mother. But what scared me even more was that I liked it. I, for the first time in my life, felt powerful.

AN: Thank you guys for the reviews, I love getting them honestly! My updates will all probably be around a week and a half, just so everyone knows. And I looked over the first chapter and I want to apologize for the confusion! Even I had troubles figuring out what was going on. When I had typed it up, all the things that broke up the moments were there but apparently when posted, they decided not to show up. So I'm very sorry for the confusion, that wasn't meant to happen.


	5. A Lesson on Friendship

December 1983

Time is speeding up now, the past couple months seeming to be a blur. Days turn into weeks which turn into months. Time goes on, no matter how much you beg of it to stop. It's been over three months since the interviewing has started and Azkaban and its occupants have become a part of me in a way. When I leave for the nights, weekends, or the occasional holiday, I start missing it, its dark walls that almost provide comfort despite it holding some of the wizarding world's most dangerous criminals. I am starting to realize why those that do leave here have such a hard time. After being here, shut off from the world, even for a small amount of time, it seems life keeps moving on. And I'm starting to realize that it is what it intends to do.

I sit across from Bellatrix, just like any normal day except for it is much later than normal.

"Cicily, I thought you wouldn't be coming today. Considering it is New Year's eve and all. Shouldn't you be out partying?"

"I was never one for partying," I lie.

"Are you kidding me," she says this not like a question, but a statement, studying me. "You were always the life of the party back at Hogwarts."

"Maybe I outgrew it," I say stubbornly.

She says nothing and we sit there in uncomfortable silence. "You need to take a vacation," she says finally.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"A vacation, a trip, some place away from here."

"I don't understand," I admit, not understanding what she is trying to get at.

"Merlin you are so daft," she rolls her eyes. "You need to leave here for a couple weeks. You are starting to act like the prisoners here."

"How so? I'm not locked up behind bars."

"I grew up with stories of what Azkaban could do to you, and not just physically. It eats you away, makes you unable to leave. It starts filling your head with ideas of why would you want to leave in the first place. Being social suddenly has no more meaning to it, surrounding yourself with people only starts to irritate you. You become a loner, unable to move on. It happens to the best of us and only the strongest can truly survive Azkaban. The longer you are here, the more it starts to control you."

"Look I don't need a psychology lesson, okay," I snap.

"Cicily, I won't talk to you until you leave here and don't come back for at least two weeks."

"Why, why should it matter to you of all people?" I stand up angrily, pounding my fist on the table. "You don't care. You have no human emotion! You are psychologically insane!"

"As true as that may be," She says and continues as if she hasn't heard a word I said. But then again maybe she hasn't. Maybe she only sees the things she wants to see. "I want my story to be told. And plus I enjoy the company. It does get rather lonely in here. And it will be that way if you go around the bend and get yourself landed in St. Mungos or worse here for stupidity."

"That's not all Lestrange and you know I know it! Why else do you want me here? Why else are you stringing me along, like a puppet?"

"All in due time, Cicily. All in due time," she says it so softly I have to strain my ears to understand. "Now leave, it will all be for the better, I swear."

"Bullshit," I say but walk out anyways, maybe a vacation would do me well.

February 1984

I am at the gates of Azkaban again for the first time in almost two months. After I had stormed out, I hadn't bothered to return, instead trying to look at it from a research point of view. But after weeks of pouring over useless information in libraries, I realized that the only way to truly figure the mystery of Bellatrix Lestrange once and for all was to interview here. At first my pride wouldn't let me return but after a couple weeks of rest I was ready.

"Cicily!" Bellatrix says, not sounding surprised. "Why it has been too long!"

"Indeed," I say, "Well, I would like to start off where we left. The trip to Diagon Alley if you wouldn't mind."

"Not at all, not at all. You see the next few weeks were absolutely dull. Mother kept insisting on me studying until I felt like my head would explode. She kept saying I had to be prepared. So when I got to the train station, it was a relief, getting away from all that, pressure. My new life was about to begin. My life as a witch would be wonderful."

***FlashBack***

As we entered onto the platform, I couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement. "Where are they coming from, Mother?" I asked as a couple boys, a few years older than me came through a brick wall.

"The muggle entrance for those whom live in that world," my mother sniffed at the thought and I thought of my aunt and uncle and cousins who all lived in a house in the muggle world.

Only my mother had come to see me off, my father had grown distant and I rarely ever saw him except for the occasional meal times. It was better than seeing my mother as I much I as I did.

"Well, I am off Bellatrix," My mother said, pulling her thin, white gloves tight on her hands. "Behave, your father and I want no word of you wandering around causing trouble there. It is no way for a Black lady to behave."

"Yes, Mother," I said, dully, having been given the speech only a hundred times before in the past few weeks.

"Also I want perfect scores, always. No messing around and I shall see you for the winter holidays."

"Yes." I felt as if this were more a business transaction than a goodbye. I glanced around and saw some mothers hugging their first years in a tearful goodbye. Knowing I would be lucky to get a handshake I simply nodded. "Well, Mother, I will see you then during the winter holidays. I shall write you when I have the chance."

"No need. I only want a once a month report on your scores and if you need anything."

"Yes. Goodbye, Mother," I said.

She nodded and swiftly turned away, walking through the crowd that seemed to part at her will.

I grabbed my trunk and pulled it through the crowds of people trying to find an empty compartment after placing my trunk in the baggage train. Thankfully Mother felt that one should always be early for the train. It wasn't proper to be running around sweating because you were late. There were dozens of empty compartments towards the middle of the train and after checking each one out, I settled for the nicest one with its seats lined with comfortable fabric and newly added drapes.

I sat down and took out one of my books to read from my bag. It had only been a few minutes before a couple of fifth year Slytherins came stumbling in, laughing.

"Hey girly. No first years, in this compartment," the first one leered at me.

Sighing, I placed my bookmark neatly in my book and set it down on the seat. "Excuse me," I raised my eyebrows. Fifth year Slytherin boys or not, I was a Black, meaning I deserved the best of everything.

"You heard him, move," the second one said, nastily.

"I don't think so because I got here first and I am a Black, that being better than any surname you possess. Now get out before I curse you," I said, really not in the mood for silly games.

"Hey first years, don't talk to fifth years like that. Learn some manners, and move it," the first one pointed toward the door.

"Bloody Gryffindors," the second one muttered as I pulled my wand from my bag, making it look like I was collecting my things. Then silently, I whispered a spell.

The two immediately were flung up against the roof of the compartment. "First off, I would never be a Gryffindor as I would rather throw myself off a moving train. Secondly, I don't care how much older than me you are, a gentleman never talks that way to a lady. Though I suppose you two hardly count. And thirdly, I am a Black and considering that is the best of the wizarding names to have, I am immediately placed higher up than you two will ever achieve in your measly, pathetic, little lives. Bellatrix Black, remember that name and I don't ever want you two to bother me again with your silly antics that are those of a second year Hufflepuff." With that I stormed out of the compartment, after collecting my things, leaving someone to find the boys and maybe get them down. I knew a mean sticking charm though, thanks to my aunt, so they probably wouldn't be able to get themselves removed from the ceiling until the end of the ride.

I settled in a compartment two down, that was also empty. Being early had its perks. I had heard stories of how crowded the train got as it got closer and closer to leaving. I had taken my cats and owl with me, not trusting anyone else to look after them properly.

"Might I sit here," a voice asked almost half an hour later.

I set down my book to look this person over. Glancing at the girl, I realized she was a Nott, or at least related to them in some way. She looked a lot like my father's friend.

"If you wish," I nodded towards the seat that sat across from me.

She sat down, "Thank you. You are Bellatrix Black are you not?" I nodded. "I thought I recognized you," she continued. "My father is very good friend with your father."

"So you are Fabio's daughter?" I asked and she nodded.

"One of many but only his legitimate daughter. The rest of his children are all from his many affairs."

I would have been surprised that she talked like this, not many pure blood families liked to reveal their problems, but considering almost everyone in the wizarding world knew, she probably didn't care. "Your mother doesn't care?" I asked, never hearing anything about Mrs Nott.

"Oh my mother died when I was very young. I don't remember her at all," she said, waving her hand as if talking about something important such as the weather.

"I thought your father was married?"

"Oh he is, but this woman is different. Much younger than him. She's barely eighteen. Almost as young as I am. In fact, my brother is older than her. It's quite the scandal though, they are both in love. My father hasn't found out yet, but I bet he will. It is all quite entertaining. Of course he won't really care about that. Only that he has been disgraced. He has already found another woman he wants as his wife. Although I should hardly say woman," the girl giggled and I found myself wanting to listen to this absurd gossip.

"Why?" I asked, suddenly very interested.

"Because she isn't even seventeen yet!" she exclaimed and broke out into a fit of giggles again.

"How old is she?" I asked, not sure I wanted to know.

"Not even fifteen!" she couldn't hold it in any longer and let a huge amount of laughter while I watched on, hardly amused.

"That is disgusting," I said and wrinkled my nose.

"Oh he's not attracted to her or anything and I doubt they have even met," she assured me. "Her family is very powerful but is their only child. He thinks it would be beneficiary if she was in the family but seeing as my brother is practically disowned as it is, there is nothing to be done. He will probably start to court her right after she has left Hogwarts."

I didn't want to ask how old her father was but seeing as he had at least an eighteen year old, I was going to assume at least in his very late thirties. "What is your name?" finally I asked, not sure of what to say. "I'm sorry I didn't catch it the first time." Although I didn't think she had even told me what it was to begin with.

"Oh it's Claudia," she said. "How very rude of me. I don't get out of the house that often and I couldn't wait to talk to someone. I must have completely forgotten to tell you. You are going to be in Slytherin right? Oh what a stupid question. Of course you are! You are a Black. My father would definitely like to have a Black in our family so I would be careful if I were you," she said and I got the impression she was teasing but I couldn't tell for sure. Before I was able to ask though, she started our one sided conversation again. "I'm hoping to get into Slytherin as well. I don't think I could imagine being in one of the other houses. Maybe Ravenclaw if I was smarter about books and actually cared to learn. I don't though to be honest. I would much rather get my schooling done as fast as possible and then go to work with my father. He does all this sort of secret stuff, but he makes a ton at it. I don't actually know for sure what he does; it is all very low key. I don't even know who works with him at it. I heard his boss's name though. Or at least I think it was his boss. He definitely spoke about him like one would speak about a boss. Anyways I don't quite remember the name but I think it started with a V. All I can remember is that it sounded very odd. Oh well. Soon enough I'll be out there working on important stuff just like my father."

I stared at her for a few moments. Never had I heard someone talk that fast before in my life, especially when jumping around topics like that. The people my parents had over all talked very slowly as if trying to contemplate what they were going to say next. Everything came out of a filter in my house, but this girl obviously had never heard of anything of the sort.

"I'm sorry was I talking too fast? Or did I say too much? I'm very sorry if I offended you. I'm not very good at talking. Father always says I have horrid social skills but I think that we as people tell too many lies. If we all just said what was on our mind, others might actually be willing to do something about the problems that we have."

I just shook my head. "No I just am not used to someone talking about something so much. I didn't realize there was that much to say on just a topic."

This was apparently the right thing to say as she started immediately off on another topic. This was going to be a long ride. About ten minutes before the train was set to leave, some other people joined us in our compartment that could fit six easily and a couple more if we were to crowd.

These boys didn't say anything though, unlike Claudia, and I felt a surge of anger at that.

"Excuse me," I said, angrily. "I don't recall saying you could sit here," I said to the four boys. Two of which sat by me and two by Claudia.

"Can we sit here," one of them asked, rolling his eyes.

"No, now get out," I pointed angrily towards the door.

"Bella, now mind your manners," Claudia scolded me and I was about to remind her that I was actually brought up right and that it was her and these cretins that needed to 'mind their manners' when the door opened once again and a girl and boy entered and sat down with them. The compartment was very crowded now and I almost considered getting up and leaving if not for the voice in my mind that sounded suspiciously like my mother that told me it would very rude. "Sorry about her," Claudia said. "She doesn't get out that often. Anyways, Bella, this is Cory Valsky, and Joey Castor, my half brothers and Rabastan Lestrange, their friend. I don't know the others very well though," she frowned after motioning to the three boys that sat on her side.

"I'm Alcina," the girl said next to me and then motioned to the boys sitting on my side. "And this is Easton and Damien." She didn't give any last names but I recognized the pureblood tradition of naming any children with wizard names, not muggle. "Anyways Cory and Joey just wanted to come and say hi; we will be going now."

"Alcy, we just sat down," one of the boys complained.

"We have our own compartment," she snapped and I hoped that Merlin would be on my side. They all got up and left while I gave Claudia a questioning look. "Are they all in our year?"

"What? Oh no of course not. Cory and Joey are both second years. Joey is in Ravenclaw. Rabastan is in our year. Alcina, is a second year and I am bloody glad she isn't a Slytherin. She's completely awful, and doesn't like me for some reason. Got even worse after last year of being put into Ravenclaw. And I don't know Damien and Easton very well but I think they are brothers. One is in his second year, the other in his third year. I was disappointed Rodolphus, Rabastan's brother didn't come with them. He is in his third year also. And is very good-looking."

I sighed. The train ride was going to be a very noisy one with her around. The compartment door opened and I half expected it to be her friends again but this time it was just a girl. "Uh you wouldn't mind if I sat here, right?" the girl asked, almost timidly and I immediately thought Hufflepuff. I was about to say no but Claudia beat me to it.

"Of course you can!" I was starting to realize Claudia liked being around people and was going to be one of those annoyingly popular ones my aunt frequently complained about my mother being.

"I'm Claudia Nott and this is Bellatrix Black, and you are?"

"Adrianna Rosier," she said, meaning she was one of my cousins. I took it back. She would be a Slytherin. The train gave a lurch and I realized that it meant it was leaving soon. Hogwarts was going to start soon.

The train ride was long and by the time it was over I felt ready to curse Claudia. Adrianna looked about the same. The girl just wouldn't shut up. People had frequently came into our compartment, knowing Claudia and by the time we had entered the castle, I felt like I knew most of the first, second and third years. Claudia, I also learned, wasn't one to base someone on what house they were in. People from all four houses had entered our compartment and Claudia knew almost all of them. I was starting to think she would be a Gryffindor with people skills like that. The sorting was fairly simple but I had already known that. Even though it was tradition for first years to not know how they would be sorted, my parents had told me, not wanting me to seem nervous. Being a Black I was one of the first to go.

I walked up to the stool and sat down. The hat was placed on my head and I heard a small voice. _Hmmm Bellatrix Black. How nice to meet you. I remember sorting your parents not so long ago. Slytherin they both were in and I can see that you'll fit right in. Smart, cunning, and a bit of madness I see…_

Hurry up, I thought, not wanting to hear anything about what the hat thought I was. _And every bit as proud as they were. I think it will be… _SLYTHERIN!

I allowed a brief smile to cross my face as I headed towards the Slytherin table, all cheering loudly. At the end both Claudia and Adrianna ended up in Slytherin along with three other girls and five boys, including Rabastan.

When we finally entered our dormitory, I saw that it was much like the Slytherin common room, decorated in silver and green.

"You know what I am disappointed about?" Claudia asked and as much as I hated myself for it, I couldn't help but be intrigued.

"What?" Rhiannon, one of the other girls asked, suspiciously.

"How we won't get a dance until our seventh year!" she exclaimed. "Hogwarts has one every four years and only fourth years and up can go unless you are asked. Although it will be a nice way to end our schooling, with a dance. But that will be two dances that year since we have our graduation dance then too."

"How do you know this stuff?" asked Selena, sounding amazed, or annoyed. I couldn't tell which.

"I know everything, darling," she winked and then went back to unpacking.

Titania, my last roommate, snorted. "Right.

I looked around at each of my roommates. They were all so different. I was very pale with extremely thick, long and curly black hair and dark grey eyes, something all of the Blacks had. While Claudia looked to be the opposite, being very tan, with plenty of tan lines showing that she had no idea how to properly tan, with golden hair that went into ringlets and brown eyes. She might even be pretty if it weren't for the fact her face was about six different shades and the fact that her nose was turned-up so much, I could see up her nostrils. Adrianna looked the most like me, probably since we were related, being lighter skinned with brown hair. She had however, light blue eyes that looked almost white that seemed to stare into your soul and so many freckles that her face was more freckled than not. Her cheeks also seemed to be permanently flushed in a very unattractive redish pink.

Rhiannon had darker, tanned, caramel colored skin than the three of us, but not as dark as Titania. She had very blonde hair (I assumed she had changed it before she came to school, it was not natural) which almost strange in comparison to her skin and very dark blue, almost black, eyes. Selena had lighter skin with long black hair and daunting brown eyes with just a bit of green in them and her face was covered in acne. And Titania was the darkest of us all with skin so dark she might be able to blend into the night. Her hair was thick and black and just the right amount of curly. She was also extraordinarily pretty. There were no flaws to be found unlike my other dormmates which I could pick apart bit by bit. She had the kind of face that seemed perfect every way it was looked at. I felt a pang of jealousy towards her and hoped that she might grow up to be ugly. No one should look pretty in the awkward stages of your first and second year and yet she did. I had made sure I would look the best out of all my roommates and if you excluded her, I did. But standing next to her, I felt just as ugly and awkward as the other girls.

Once I was done unpacking, I let out my owl and cats and watched as my owl flew out of the window.

"I love your owl and cats!" Claudia exclaimed. "They are very pretty! What's their names?"

"They haven't any," I said. "Blacks don't name their possessions."

"That's the silliest thing I have ever heard!" Claudia laughed and the others joined in timidly but stopped when I glared.

"I'm sorry that you weren't brought up the way I was," I said, haughtily.

"Oh there is no reason to get all pissy about it," Claudia giggled again and I didn't think there was anything that could put her in a bad mood. "Here I'll help you. Girls let's all think and by tomorrow Bella's animals will all have new names."

I frowned at the nickname she gave me. "My name is Bellatrix," I told her sternly.

"Please like I am going to call you by that ridiculous name," she waved her hand in the air impatiently. "Bella is so much cuter! Bellatrix makes you sound so old and proper."

"I don't want to be thought of as cute," I grimaced at the thought. That would get me nowhere to impressing my parents.

But she had tuned me out and was pulling more stuff from her trunk. Her side of the room was already a complete disaster.

"What are you doing?" Adrianna sounded appalled. Good. Maybe if we all shut Claudia out, she would leave. I didn't think I could handle an entire seven years of schooling with her.

"Looking for something," she mumbled, still digging through her trunk. "Ah here they are!" she pulled out a stack of magazines which I recognized as the trash that Mother would never have allowed me to get.

"All the best ones. There are so many dreamy wizards in here!" she tossed them down on the floor. "I think my favorite is that new quidditch player they just picked."

"Aidan Young?" Titania asked and Claudia nodded enthusiastically. "He is so gorgeous!" And just like that the other girls all lied down on the floor to look at the pictures. I stared at them. Where had their minds gone? One mention of a famous guy and they all turn to giggling school girls? Disgusted I went to my bed and picked up one of my new spell books. I had already learned most of the spells for the first year material and figured it wouldn't hurt to know some nasty curses though I already had found a few I liked.

"Bells! Get down here and join," Selena called and waved me over on the floor. Really. As if a Black lady would ever sit on the floor. And I thought I was going to like her.

"I am quite good from right here, but thank you very much," I said not bothering to look up from my book. At least I tried until it disappeared from my hands. Claudia. Where the bloody hell did my wand go?

"Now you can have it back after you spend some time with us. A first impression is always the best impression and sometimes the only chance you get. It's the first night here. Relax. Make friends. That's what school is all about."

I didn't bother to tell her that even though I didn't know the material, I wasn't actually studying; I was actually looking for a nice spell to hex her with when she wasn't looking.

"Besides, you won't learn anything useful from this. It's for third years at least. We are first years," she tossed the book out of the window and I made a mental note to retrieve it later. I hadn't quite picked up on accio yet.

"I know most of the material in that book anyways," I shrugged trying to not show that her attitude was slowly making me want to strangle her and that I never thought of fighting like a muggle unless I was really angry. It was very demeaning to the name of wizard. I would get her back later anyway. That book had been brand new and I had most certainly not known anything in it.

This time all the girls stopped and gaped at me. "What! How is that possible?" Rhiannon demanded and I realized she probably thought she would be the best at magic.

"I've had a private tutor since before I could talk," I said coldly.

"No wonder you have such a stick up your arse," Claudia sniffed and not having my wand anywhere, I chucked the first thing I grabbed, which happened to be a pillow. It smacked her in the face but it didn't have the desired effect and instead, it seemed I had started a pillow fight. How very juvenile.

***End***

"You know your personality changes back then are practically giving me whiplash," I say.

"I was young. I thought of myself, like every other normal pure-blood Slytherin girl, above everyone else."

"And you don't think that now?"

"Of course not. The Dark Lord is all that matters. He is what is most important."

"Oh, of course," I reply, repeating what she had said in a mocking manner. "So whatever happened to your dormmates?"

"Different things. But again, you must have patience. I'm not going to be telling this story out of order," She says and I feel like this won't be a story I will want to hear. If these girls were already starting to annoy before her first day, I would expect half of them to be dead by now.

"Well Bellatrix it has been lovely seeing you," I quickly gather my things. "Same time tomorrow as always."

"As always."

Two days later

"So are we going to start on your second year today?" I ask, impatiently. This Hogwarts stuff was getting me nowhere. I didn't want to hear about her school years and about her learning experience. I needed to know what made her into who she was today. Pointless stories was all this was.

"No," she gives me a strange look. "I haven't even begun my first year yet and you want to skip it entirely! I am ashamed. You are a reporter, Cicily. You of all people should know that sometimes the smallest details are the ones that can truly pick apart a person. No. We will continue with my first year until it is time to move on. I don't want my book to be horrible."

"It's my book Lestrange."

"Perhaps, but it is about me. That makes it even more mine then yours. It has my experiences in it. Not yours."

"Okay, whatever," I say, telling myself I should be the bigger person. After all, I'm not the one in prison."Let's just continue with this."

***Flashback***

"Bells, I am bored!" I tried to ignore the gnat-once-called-Claudia that I couldn't seem to rid of. It had been weeks since that book incident and she had only gotten worse, even after a few of my anonymous hexes. I had framed Gryffindors of course but really there was only so much a girl could do before she lost her mind.

"Well that's nice," I focused harder on my book. "And stop calling me Bells. It's rather annoying."

"Bells," she stressed out the word, making it ten times longer than it actually was. I got the sudden urge to stick my tongue out at her but didn't, knowing that Mother would kill me for even thinking about it. Oh Merlin. I was starting to turn into these girls. Titania, Selena, Rhiannon, Adrianna had all seemed fine when I first met them but they were slowly turning over to the dark side of Claudia. Her and her stupid bubbly personality. I wanted to hex her until she begged the sorting hat to change her house. Preferably to Hufflepuff. She belonged to the group. They were all sniveling, wanna-be's that reminded me a lot of Claudia herself.

Unfortunately, she had seemed to latch onto me as her best friend. Something I was not taking too well. She was irritating and way too bouncy and talked way too much. Already, everyone seemed to have formed groups in our dormitory. Titania and Selena were never seen without each other and Rhiannon obviously feeling left out of the group had picked Adrianna and the two were also starting to become inseparable. So naturally Claudia chose me. That I could see as a bit of a bonus. Claudia liked everyone so she didn't hang around me as often as she first had but still I thought that her presence was still way too over-bearing.

"Aren't you listening, Bella?" Claudia's voice suddenly interrupted my thoughts and I scowled. Even when she wasn't around I was thinking about her. Ugh. She needed to go. Now.

"No, I wasn't," I said and I could feel every other girl in the dormitory look up at me.

"Why not?" she demanded, bossily and I finally set my book down.

"Because frankly, Claudia, I don't care about what you have to say. Not now. Not ever. So please just do us all a favor and shut the bloody hell up for once in your pathetic, miserable, little life that I sincerely hope ends within the next few minutes. But even if I happened to get that lucky, it wouldn't be soon enough."

The silence that followed was unbearable. I could see the surprised faces of Titania, Selena, and Rhiannon all looking on from the corner of my eye. But behind Claudia, Adrianna stood looking… smug? I avoided the stare of Claudia, knowing I was a complete and utter coward. For Merlin's sake, even my mother would be disappointed. A Black lady after all would never, ever say anything like that to anyone's face.

"Look, Claudia," I started softly, wincing at my apologetic tone. I needed to fix this. I knew from stories that you needed your dorm mates to be ready to give their support at any given moment and I had practically ruined that.

"No, Bellatrix, I get it, I really do," she said it so softly that I could barely hear her. "I… I think I left something in the library." With that she turned and ran from the room.

"I can't believe you did that Bella!" Rhiannon cracked up.

"Thank Merlin you did that! I was getting ready to strangle her," Selena said laughing along with Rhiannon.

"That was awesome, Bells!" Adrianna exclaimed, obviously feeling she needed have her input in this matter. Like I couldn't see it written on her face. On all their faces. I was a shitty friend. But then again Black ladies, and even more so, Slytherins, never had friends. We had very close enemies that we needed to keep watch on at all times. Those that we socialized with.

I caught Titania's eye and saw that unlike the other three she looked disappointed, almost angry. And then I realized it was directed at me. Bloody hell. Sighing, I got up from my bed and walked to the door.

"Where you going, Bella?" Adrianna called after me.

I ignored her and continued to the library, very doubtful that Claudia would actually be in there.

Unfortunately I was right. When I got there, she was nowhere to be seen. Well, this was turning up fantastically, I thought. I had already managed to completely screw up my one sort-of true friendship and I had hardly been here for six weeks. Sure Claudia bothered me more than all the other girls combined, but at least she had more backbone then all of them combined.

I had searched what felt like the entire castle when I remembered what Claudia had said to me a couple weeks earlier about a place she had found. Excitedly, I ran outside to the lake. There she sat under a couple trees, almost completely hidden. I wouldn't have noticed her if I hadn't been looking. Quietly I came up behind her.

"Claudia," I whispered.

"What?" her voice came out in a sort of strangled sob and I knew I had a hell of a lot of apologizing to do.

"Claudia, I'm…" I almost had said sorry but caught myself at the last moment. Black ladies never said they were sorry. Especially when they didn't really mean it.

"What? Do Black ladies never say sorry?" she said bitterly, looking up from her knees where she had hidden her face.

I looked at her surprised before cautiously answering, "No. We don't."

"And I suppose they don't sit on the ground either?"

"Not really," this was going to be very uncomfortable.

"And they have to be the bitchiest people around too?"

"I wouldn't say bitchy, more like coldly aloof."

"Bella, what you said back there was not coldly aloof. It was bitchy."

"I know."

"And you're not sorry." She didn't say this like a question, more like a statement.

"No," I answered honestly. "I'm not and I meant every word I said back there."

She looked at me, her eyes growing cold. "You know when I first saw you heading over here I thought maybe you had come over to apologize, but obviously you just wanted to make me feel worse."

"No, I just wanted to tell you I shouldn't have said what I did."

"Because Black ladies never say what their thinking, am I right?"

"No," I whispered suddenly looking at my shoes. "We don't and we certainly don't say it to someone's face."

"Of course. Merlin, I thought you were going to be different than all those other purebloods."

"Excuse me, how exactly did you think I was going to be different?"

"I don't know any more. I mean I know what purebloods are like. I am one for Merlin's sake. I just, I thought maybe you weren't going to be one of those whose parents haven't completely brainwashed them."

"I'm not brainwashed."

"But that's just it. You are! You are so brainwashed you can't even realized it. And you are only eleven years old!"

"Twelve actually," I said automatically.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm twelve, not eleven, my birthday was a couple days ago."

"But you didn't get any presents," she looked at me as if I was missing something.

"Why would I get presents? It's just the day I was born. Not some huge holiday or anything."

"No it's not. It's bigger than that. It's a day where your whole family it supposed to worship you and everything."

"My parents don't believe in that stuff."

"Is it really that bad where you live?"

I frowned at her, confused. "I don't understand your meaning. It's fine living there. Actually it is better than fine. It's like a dream. The Black Manor is extraordinary. It's special. Something no one seems to realize. So my parents aren't touchy-feely. I don't mind. I honestly rather they didn't."

She looked at me for a moment. "Bellatrix, I'm sorry if I was being a little, clingy, for lack of better words."

"It was worse than clingy honestly," I stopped at the look on her face. "Look, I'm not sorry for what I said. It was the truth. But I would like for us to be friends again. Just maybe, tone down the bounciness."

"If you tone down the seriousness," she said, and I realized I was forgiven, even if I hadn't asked to be. Even if i didn't want to be. Forgiving people was just in Claudia's nature. "And quit with all the 'Black lady' crap. Be yourself. We are only eleven and twelve; this is way too much of a serious talk for people of our age. But really, maybe reconsider who you are trying to impress. If your parents can't accept who you are, then you don't really need to impress them do you?" And with that she stood from the lake and walked toward the castle, leaving me there to think things over. Then I realized, we could rule the school, me and her. There really was nothing standing in our way and I didn't need to like her to be able to do it.

As I was walking into the castle, I realized I hadn't seen Trixie for a while. This would have been a time she had appeared but she hadn't. I didn't think she was gone for good, but not seeing her made me feel just a bit less crazy in a world that I had no idea would get crazier.

AN: So what did everyone think? Also I love to get reviews like anyone else. And thank you everyone who has given them to me! It means a lot! Also again, I would like to apologize for the craziness of chapter one. I'm planning on fixing it when isn't acting so weird.


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